Everyday I find myself alone.

Maybe I haven't been alone long enough.
Perhaps there is an unseen clock ticking towards when I can once again have a companion.
I guess I must be honest with myself for there have been propositions but for one reason or another I have chosen to pass them by and at the same time when I have found someone of beauty they go the other way.
Maybe it's due to where my marriage went and all the things that made me turn my back when she walked out and I fear finding myself in the same situation or maybe it's me and others see the same things that she did.

I do find that more and more I believe myself to be whacked.

I spent several hours wandering around Milwaukee on New Years Day.
I felt rather distant from everything and everyone.
Even with two kids in the house I don't feel like a family. More like the poster Dad for dysfunctionality.

But...Hope springs eternal. I must step into my life and try to make it work. Lately I haven't wanted to be around myself so I guess I could understand why someone else wouldn't want to be around me either.
It's hard going it alone. One more thing that gives me greater respect and admiration for my Mom.