Going through some photos today.

Mom not being here is so weird.

Another Saturday...
No cruise this morning.
Got the dishes done and the kitchen swept and mopped.Vacuumed the livingroom and stair. Margaret was surprised when she came home from work :)

I had yesterday off so I went out for a cruise and some shopping. Stopped at the coffee store and went out to Stone Bank to clean off family gravestones. A nice drive down Hwy K to Hwy 83.
Bought state park stickers for the car and the van. Picked up a sticker for Owen aswell.
Couldn't resist stopping at Paradise Springs and snapping a few photos...

We'll see how this one goes.

Saturday Morning with a cup of coffee. It's a little cold...I should have drank it faster or used an insulated mug.
It's so quiet in here I can here the cd's burn.
Went to see Phil Lesh & Friends last Sunday in Milwaukee, had a good time but I could have used a seat. My right knee has gotten old as of late.
Going out for a drive...

Saturday morning...
Taking the daughter shoe shopping for a dance she is going to with her beau then the day is mine.
I think I may drive to Madison...maybe do some thrifting. The Great Midwest Marijuana Harvest Festival is going on this weekend on State St. I'd like to go out and check out the bands they have playing.
Tomorrow they have a bluegrass band playing and then the customary march up State St. to the state capitol.
Maybe some nice photos...

Monday Morning...
Took the day off of work to work on moving. I guess I really don't have the day off then now do I...
I do plan however on going out to Oconomowoc for some coffee and meeting Margaret for lunch in Johnson Creek.
I'm glad this moving adventure is coming to a close. I look forward to not having it hanging over my head.
I'm glad Margaret was brought into my life.
It seemed as though I was in a holding pattern or perhaps just sitting idle for some needed maintenance. It's good to be moving forward once again.

So here it is Thursday, August 18th.
Life has seen many changes this summer. Almost a rebirth.
I went down to Veteran's Park today for the send off of our local National Guard unit.
It was a nice ceremony and I hope the best for them all.
There a picture on my other blog...

What can I say... Life is Grand !
Margaret an I are going to a campout this coming weekend.
Grateful Garcia Gathering
Oughta be a h00t !

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make.

Saturday Morning...
Hanging out at Margaret's place this morning. She's left for work.
Beautiful day outside, I need to venture out.
Drinking some coffee and listening to some Jerry Garcia Band. Mystery Train is playing...turned it up.

It's hard to cast off baggage from previous relationships. I fear hurt.
Sometimes I worry that I'm going to open my window to her and she'll see something she doesn't like and leave.
I've been trying to remind myself that she is no one but Margaret and that she is unlike anyone else I've known but it's hard not to compare present situations with previos knowledge. I think it's part of the human condidtion.
Live and learn or don't live long.

Once thing I told Margaret was that I didn't really concern myself with who she was in previous relationships and that she had a clean slate and the ability to be who she wanted.
Maybe I need to afford myself that luxury and forget what has occured in my past and face life with new bright eyes.
I certainly would not want to be measured by how I've acted in the past because I feel like a new person on a regular basis.
I don't think we should ignore our skeletons for they are a part of who we are but maybe they are best represented by ghost images on the back wall of our closet and not hanging on the rod in 3D.

You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle
I'm holding you so tight, you know you could have been a handle
The way you swept me off my feet, you know you could have been a broom
The way you smell so sweet, you know you could have been some perfume

Looks like a fine day here.
Going out to some state parks with my new lady friend.

Life is sweet :)

So I'm sitting down with a bowl of chicken soup.
I made the soup two nights ago. It's pretty tasty.
Soup that comes from a can is not soup.

It's been rather chilly in the apartment as of late.
Hoping them night time lows come up soon.
The landlady asked me if I wanted her to turn on the heat but I told her no.
She's only raised the rent $20 dollars in 7 years so I try to cut her some slack.

Works been a little rough lately. We're short 4 people in our department so we've all had to work outside of our normal jobs. We'll be doing some overtime for the next few weeks. I've been wanting to buy some filters for my camera...

Life's events have been strange lately for me.
From my perspective it's a nice surprise but from the perspective of others it's rather shitty.
I didn't seek out this rather it came to me so I feel innocent of all charges and accusations.

I often wonder about the negative things in life. Is it a force that moves around randomly or is it attracted to us by our actions.
Is there a set amount of negative energy ? If one has a good day does that mean that another must have a bad day.

I'm very thankful for the life that I have. I've experienced alot of negative things and if it is circular in nature as in Karma I had it coming.
I think that the best thing to do is to acknowledge what you did and why it was wrong.

I was out tearing apart the bus today.
Kinda weirded me out.

This post is about the memories that the bus contains.
I should go through my old photos and look for images of the bus but alas I would end up spending an evening in a box...

The kids were so cute then...

I have vivid memories of the winter that it was our only tranportation. Driving around in an ice cube.

In true Red Green fashion I thought of how cool it would be to incorporate a VW van in a house.
It would be like a little porch.
A dormer off of the second floor.
Sit in the front seat and watch the sunset...

More than just a cold.
Took a couple of days off of work for the flu.

I think the cat was confused by how much time I was spending lying down.

It's been a rough week at work...due to absenteeism I've had to work on the production line everyday. Aside from my back being stiff it's not a bad thing for the people on my line to see me working/sweating.
Most of them do a great job but there are a couple that need to find employment elsewhere.

Flowers are here !

It's raining out tonight.

I've got a cold again. Hopefully it's not more than that.
I think this is the 4th cold since fall. I can't remember that ever happening before at the most it's been one in the fall and one in spring.

Lotsa things have happened and nothings happened at all...

Most recent was going to see Ratdog in Madison.
I had a great time ! It was a one night vacation from day to day life. The kind of event that refreshes your soul.

My brothers house has sold and so lives take another turn.
It's amazing how life progresses. How events unfold.
Sometimes you just gotta step back and say "Who'da thunk it"

I bottled a batch of Steam beer yesterday. It'll be a week before it's carbonated.
I drank a bottle flat and warm. Tasted good. Oughta be real good chilled and sparkling.

I'm expecting a shipment of dye tomorrow. I need to look at planning some easy meals so I have time to dye.
I feel like I'm always on the edge of everything coming together. All I need is a catalyst and things will progress to the next level.

I'm trying to quit drinking soda.
I had a Coca~Cola at work today and I found it too sweet. I think soda and junk food is part of what holds me back from taking the next step. It bogs you down and prevents you from taking the next step. I compare it to watching TV as opposed to listening to music.

Tomorrow's another day.

Beautiful day today !
Work went good...3 day weekend coming up.
I made pork chop suey for dinner. Simply wonderful !
Sometimes I'm amazed at how good something can taste.

Spring is here and I feel life is starting again.
I'm hoping to be able to step back and appreciate it.
I went for a walk on Tivoli Island today and stopped for awhile and enjoyed the birds flying around. A pair of Cardinals playing tag (?) was the highpoint of my walk.

What's currently in my discman...
Grateful Dead 4-1-88

Sometimes
we
live
no
particular
way
but
our
own

Making beef stew for dinner tonight.
Didn't get alot accomplshed today but I had a nice country cruise with my daughter as a copilot.

Still holding my breath for spring. It won't stop being cold though...

Went out with Owen tonight to Ixonia to see a band.
Raime's little sister was there. Young and cute.
Had a good time...swilled some beers.
I was a knight in shining armour for some drunk girl that was targeted by an oaf.
She told me I was cute...drunk chics dig me.
I told her I was just a nice guy helping her out of a jam. Story of my life.

Owen and I went to Mom's afterward.
Strange.
Took some pics and grabbed a few things.

I've been awake for 24 hours. I'm starting to see things...

Goodnight :)

Saturday it is...
I'm pulling for a mid-March spring.
This ice and snow has got to go !

Things seem to be running somewhat smooth. Winter is trying to kill things but that's normal for this time of year.
I couldn't take my pc problems anymore so I bought a new one. So far so good. I'm quite happy with my purchase.

A bid has been accepted on Mom's house. Another chapter is about to close.

I believe I've decided to postpone a house purchase. I think I'm going to invest the money instead and wait a few years before looking to buy.
I do need to move however. I'm tired of living in this apartment and I'm not sure how much longer this building can sustain me.

Saturday it is.
Went out for a nice cruise this morning.
Went to look at a small cemetary east of Jefferson.
Next stop was Lapham's Peak
Climbed the tower and hung out for awhile.
Cruised out to Stone Bank. Cleared the snow off of the stones.
Hit the coffee shop in Oconomowoc and then home.
Listened to Grateful Dead 5-13-78 for the ride. Not the greatest of shows but I found it enjoyable.

Going out to Ixonia tonight for Boney Fingers.
Good friends and good music.

Heck of a day at work.
I think the worst of my cold thingy is past me.
Went down to the brewpub for a couple of pints of ale this evening.
On the way home I thought of posting on here how happy I was to be able to do that.
Light conversation with a few folks. Felt good.

Penny emailed me that she is going to get married. I am happy for her.

It was almost spring the other day but nature realized it's still February...

I've got a cold.
I've only had it for a few days and already I want for it to be gone.
There has been times in the past where I've gone for extended periods without a cold and it has gotten to the point where I almost wanted one just to remember what they are like. This was not one of those times.
Maybe it's the flu ? I really felt craptacular yesterday but I took some drugs and went out to Madison for Kites on Ice as planned.
The weather has been warmer so it was more Kites on Slush.

Things have been rather smooth except for this cold thing. Does a virus have a right to life ?

brrrrr...it's cold out. I went out for a walk around the dam. shoulda worn my longjohns.
There's still a month or two left of this cold and snow...I so long for my sandals and shorts.
I want to lay in a field and watch the clouds go by...

things seem to be alright lately. just trying to coast till spring. a little fun here and there.

I got divorced on the 17th. It being 3+ years since we split it didn't mean that much to me.
I was a bit misty eyed over the fact that I was doing something that I never wanted to do but I know that it was the right thing. I should say that it was the act of getting divorced that bothered me, not the person I was divorcing.
I find it interesting all the feelings and emotions that I have experienced in the past 3 years.
From blinding anger causing me to lash out at people I didn't know in a drunken rage to anxiety attacks caused by fears of of growing old alone and dying with no one beside me.
I've been on top of the world driving by myself in the country with some coffee and seen days when I didn't want to get out of bed.

Here's to everything that has happened for I wouldn't be me without it.




and so it goes...

I put some extra time in at work tonight. It was nice being there by myself.
Put Grateful Dead 6/20/74 in a boombox and turned it up.
A wonderful version of To Lay Me Down is on there and I found it most enjoyable.

Here's the song in mp3 Click-Click


Been doing alright as of late. Weather could be better...could be worse to.

A friend said this to me in an email.

Upon reflection, you have much going for you, young, handsome, funny,

sensitive, talented, great friend. The right woman will see all these

and love your children as her own. So smile ...take your pictures

...drink  brew...sleep in your van, enjoy your independence and from the

most unexpected source your destiny shall emerge.

Broken heart don't feel so bad
Ain't got half a what you thought you had...

Feeling better today `cept of course this cold I have. Printed a few 4x6's at Walmart and an 8x10 of a friends son catching a fish. She'll be surprised.
Making veggie fajitas for dinner tonight...I'm excited.
We've got a couple of long months ahead. Tis the winter when we age.

We were discussing at work today the fact that it's 2005. Where are our flying cars and floating cities ??

Dinner was good. Gotta do some shopping tomorrow.

Everyday I find myself alone.

Maybe I haven't been alone long enough.
Perhaps there is an unseen clock ticking towards when I can once again have a companion.
I guess I must be honest with myself for there have been propositions but for one reason or another I have chosen to pass them by and at the same time when I have found someone of beauty they go the other way.
Maybe it's due to where my marriage went and all the things that made me turn my back when she walked out and I fear finding myself in the same situation or maybe it's me and others see the same things that she did.

I do find that more and more I believe myself to be whacked.

I spent several hours wandering around Milwaukee on New Years Day.
I felt rather distant from everything and everyone.
Even with two kids in the house I don't feel like a family. More like the poster Dad for dysfunctionality.

But...Hope springs eternal. I must step into my life and try to make it work. Lately I haven't wanted to be around myself so I guess I could understand why someone else wouldn't want to be around me either.
It's hard going it alone. One more thing that gives me greater respect and admiration for my Mom.